Kids Say the Darndest Things...

I should have been keeping track of all of the funny, bizarre, and sweet things the kids have said to me throughout my pregnancy so I'll just have to hope that I can at least remember a few! It's been quite funny. With seeing the kids only once a week, I suppose that it is more exciting for them, maybe they see more of a change in a week than they would in a day, who knows! But they've been truly intrigued! I just have to laugh but sometimes I am just shell-shocked!!!

Questions from students - keep in mind they are 5-11 or 12 years old (K-5):

1. Are you going to have that needle thingy in your back? I think I was asked this by a couple different 4th graders. I don't remember what I said the first time but the 2nd time I asked the student (a boy), how he knows about that. He said another student told him. So, when I asked how HE knew, he said his dad told him. OKIDOKE!
2. Are you excited? Yes!
3. Are you nervous? A little, yeah!
4. Are you going to squeeze your husband's hand? hmmm...I just laughed!
5. How did you know you were pregnant? I think this was before Katie H. told me to tell the kids "The doctor told me!" I don't remember exactly what I stumbled out!
6. How did you know it was a girl? The doctor told me! :)
7. How does the baby come out? Luckily, I suppose, before I could answer (this happens a lot!), another student blurts out "You have to have surgery to get it out!" So I said, "Yep, sometimes you do!" MOVING ON!!!
8. How does the baby come out? (another class) Again, if I pause at all, another student will usually take care of it for me. This was a Kindergarten class and NOT KIDDING, a few of the girls were telling how the baby actually comes out!! The baby comes out your _____ - they had a word for 'it'--totally can't remember but it was definitely a slang term.
9. How do you feed the baby? This was a tricky one. I think I was asked this a few times and depending on the age of the student, I tried actually explaining that when I eat, the baby gets her nutrients from me. Not sure if they quite got it but I tried!
10. Is that baby keeping you up at night, kicking? This one 2nd grader asked me this literally EVERY week for about a month. :)
11. Your belly sure is getting big! Yep! I know!
12. Man, you're really stretching your shirt out - you'll have to get a new shirt after the baby is here...
13. You look like you have THREE bowling balls in your belly! Wouldn't one have been sufficient?
14. Cute story - Yesterday the Kindergarteners had their playground balls with them in art because they come straight from recess and I turn around to see them sticking the balls up their shirts!!! I about died!
15. One student asked the assistant in the room "Soooo, your stomach just...stretches out like that??" She replies, "Well, yeah..." Then the student says, "So, isn't your belly going to be all 'squishy' (I think that was the word she used), after???" Amazing what a 1st grader is really thinking through here...
16. Does the baby take a bath when you take a bath? Again, I'm not really sure what I said. Sometimes I'm just speechless!
17. Does being pregnant hurt? Well...(on the subject of bowling balls), I said, it doesn't really hurt but imagine you have a bowling ball in your belly and you are trying to roll over in bed or get up, it kind of gets in the way!

And my all time favorite:
One student asked me how the baby starts out as this little thing (he does a motion with his hand) and then grows to be that big?? Before I could even respond (thankfully??), another student (these are 2nd graders) says "Well, it starts out as this little egg and then there's this little tadpole thing and they join together and make a baby!" All I can do at this point was laugh along with another teacher that was in earshot. I was just dying! How does she know this?? So, I ask her - "Rachel, how do you know that?" Her response was that she "watched an inappropriate movie." Hilarious!! After telling the story to a few people, I think it was Sara that pointed out that she probably saw Look Who's Talking! Amazing what the kids catch on to! Her version was just hilarious, though, and you have to know her to really get it! She's the same one that also told me when we were trying to pick names, that sometimes you just have to wait until you see the baby to know. Then she grabbed this other student and said, "See, Emily just LOOKS like an Emily!" Apparently she heard her mom saying this, I'd say. :)

The kids are so sweet about it all. It has helped me to look forward to these last few days of being pregnant when I'm exhausted and don't feel like going in to school--even for a 1/2 day :) especially today when I practically threw my back out this morning picking something up off the floor and was in the worst pain for about 1/2 hour! The pain was too high for me to think back labor but it definitely got me to thinking - uh oh!!! If that was any indication of what's to come, I'm in trouble. :)

For example, today, I stepped into the lunch room to ask a student about her artwork, and I had about 15 - 2nd graders practically attacking me--asking how I'm doing, how's the baby?, touching my belly, giving me hugs, telling me good luck and have fun. They are so cute!!!!! I even had a 3rd grader tell me today that she's been praying for me. :)

This is why I LOVE MY JOB!!!!!!!!!

I'm sure I'll think of more but those are probably the ones that stick out in my mind the most. :)